GETTING A LITTLE PRESIDENTIAL--HUMOR+

Every four years Americans head to the polls in early November to elect a president.  Some of us get inspired by those running for office, while others get completely “turned off.” We’re now in the midst of two political conventions and I thought a little humor and anecdotal history seemed appropriate, as well as a chance to dial down the intensity a little. I also enjoy sharing the “human side” of past presidents and their sometimes chaotic lives and surroundings.

One thing that most of them had in common was a love of animals, starting with George Washington.  He even brushed his horses’ teeth, but unfortunately he had a lot of trouble with his own.

President Theodore Roosevelt

Thomas Jefferson had bears that lived on the White House Grounds, which were brought back by the explorers Lewis and Clark.  Theodore Roosevelt was a big game hunter, but he drew the line at shooting a bear cub. For that wisdom, the Teddy Bear was named after him. TR was an amateur ornithologist, who even wrote a bird-watching book.

President Calvin Coolidge

There’s an amazing list of animals that made their way to the White House, including alligators, donkeys, horses, birds, snakes, elephants, dogs, cats, a pet bobcat, and a wallaby.  Our thirtieth president, Calvin Coolidge seemed far more comfortable around animals than people.  He once had twelve dogs, including a terrier named Peter Pan and a sheepdog named Calamity Jane.  In addition, he also owned a donkey, a bear, a lion cub, raccoons, and a wallaby.  He wasn’t quiet around animals, but to Americans he became known as “Silent Cal.”  A woman at a White House Dinner had once made a bet that she could get him to say more than two words. His response to her was, “You lose.”  One of his famous lines was, “I’ve never been hurt by anything I didn’t say.”  (That's an important thought to remember since I’ve had a few of those oops moments).

President Franklin Delano Roosevelt

Franklin Roosevelt was also a big dog lover, having had seven of them.  He didn’t go as far as his mother, Sara Delano Roosevelt, however; she enjoyed sending postcards to her dogs. FDR and Lyndon Johnson would have had a lot to talk about; LBJ was fond of beagles and had ones named Him and Her. John F. Kennedy even had a dog from Soviet Premier Kruschchev, which was given to his daughter Caroline after the Cuban Missile crisis. 

President Grant loved horses and had many of them, but he once got a speeding ticket while riding a horse.  It cost him $20 and his horse and buggy.  He did get his exercise however, since he had to walk home.

Our tenth president, John Tyler was a proud father with eight sons and seven daughters.  He gave numerous White House parties, which included his children, grandchildren, and friends.  Teddy Roosevelt was an easy going father with six children and they could often match him in energy.  One thing they had fun doing, besides playing with the exotic animals at the White House,  was sliding down the White House staircase on cookie sheets. 

Some presidents were brilliant and scholarly, while others had no interest or opportunity for education.  Andrew Johnson, president following Lincoln’s death, never went to school, but his wife taught him to read, write, and do math.  He did know how to sew and worked in a tailor’s shop as a 12-year old. 

President Garfield

President Garfield, on the other hand, learned to read at three and became a college president.  He could write in a different language with each hand, including Greek and Latin, astonishing many people who were lucky enough to observe him.

William Henry Harrison, our ninth president, wanted to be a doctor, but ran out of money.  Sadly, being president never worked out for him either.  On his cold and rainy inaugural day, he neglected to wear a coat or hat and came down with pneumonia not long after his lengthy speech.  He died thirty-one days later.

President John Quincy Adams

Some presidents loved their time in the White House, while others hated it.  James Buchanan, our fifteenth president once said, “If you are as happy, my dear sir, on entering this house as I am in leaving it, you are the happiest man in the country.”  John Quincy Adams once expressed similar sentiments.  He also had an unusual experience during his time in the White House.  He enjoyed swimming in the Potomac River early every morning and always hung his clothes up while he went for a dip.  Unfortunately, they were once stolen and a young boy passing by had to scurry to the White House to fetch him some new ones.  Different times for sure!

Presidents also had plenty of other dislikes.  George Washington hated Tuesdays because it meant shaking hands after a dinner and reception.  To avoid shaking hands, he held his hat in one hand and put his other hand on his sword.  He just gave his reception guests a simple bow.  He didn’t like stuffy affairs.

Andrew Jackson was less than thrilled with his own inauguration party because of the thousands of wild and crazy fans who poured into the White House. He had to slip out and spend the night in a hotel.  He was a common man who became wildly popular, but still was the target of an assassin.  Luckily the guns misfired and Jackson chased the man, shaking his cane. 

President Lincoln with Tad

President Lincoln disliked being called Abe.  His friends and family called him Mr. Lincoln or just Lincoln. He adored his children,however, and was very laid back with them.  One year he pardoned the turkey that was set to be Christmas dinner, when his son Tad pleaded with him to save it. 

And of course George Bush Sr. is well known for his dislike of broccoli.  He once said, “I’m the president of the United States and I’m not going to eat any more broccoli.”

Harry Truman liked music, but not rock ‘n roll.  He once described it as “this damn noise they play today.” 

Lyndon Johnson seemed to like being president less and less as time went on.  He once commented, “Being president is like being a jackass in a hailstorm.  There’s nothing to do but to stand there and take it.”

Chester Arthur, our twenty-first president made an unwise decision during his presidency.  He sold twenty-four wagonloads of presidential furniture and belongings.  I guess he didn’t conceive of the priceless nature of the items.  I wonder if any of them are around today.

Warren G. Harding, not a particularly hard-working president, who was more known for scandal during his administration, once gambled away a set of White House china.

And who could guess that something seemingly healthy like eating a big bowl of cherries and drinking a pitcher of iced milk on a hot day could prove costly?  Zachary Taylor, our twelfth president made that mistake and died five days later of either heat stroke or food poisoning.

But there are great traditions that were started during the terms of different presidents.  John Adams believed in celebrating July Fourth with “games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations.” (fireworks)  Ironically, he and Thomas Jefferson both died on the Fourth of July, a few hours apart. 

William Howard Taft, our twenty-seventh president started the tradition of throwing out the first ball at baseball games.  He also inadvertently started baseball’s seventh-inning stretch.  The crowd followed his unplanned stretching movement and turned it into a tradition.

And of course presidents had dreams as children.  George W. Bush once wanted to be a professional baseball player and when he became part-owner of the Texas Rangers, he had baseball cards made of himself. 

LBJ no doubt wished that his report card as an eight-year old had been just a little different.  He excelled in everything except his behavior, where he received a C+.

Finally, I want to share some little known facts and quotes about our presidents. Did you know that the Baby Ruth candy bar was not named after Babe Ruth?  It was actually to honor Grover Cleveland’s popular daughter. Who would have guessed!  Or that FDR was related by blood or marriage to eleven other presidents.  He was quite a superstitious president as well, never wanting to sit at a table with thirteen people.

FDR’s wife Eleanor loved flying and she flew extensively before she became First Lady.  She once flew with Amelia Earhart over the Capitol at night. Eleanor also received over 250,000 letters a year as First Lady and was more than likely to answer those who wrote.

Here are some additional presidential words of wisdom:

            “You ain’t nothin’ when you’re talkin.’  (Lyndon Johnson)

            “Politics is not a bad profession.  If you succeed, there are many rewards.  If you disgrace yourself, you can always write a book.”  (Ronald Reagan)

            “My experience has taught me that a man who has no vices has damned few virtues.  (Lincoln)

            “Common-looking people are the best in the world.  That is the reason the Lord made so many of them.”  (Lincoln)

            “Always be sincere, even if you don’t mean it.”  (Harry Truman)

President Truman with his wife Bess, on their wedding day

            “Children and dogs are as necessary to the welfare of this country as Wall Street and the railroads.”  (Harry Truman)

President Eisenhower

            “I’m saving that rocker for the day when I feel as old as I really am.”  (Dwight Eisenhower)

And now, to get many of us through with added good humor until that eventful  day in early November, here are a few unusual thoughts:

            “George Washington would be very proud to know that we celebrate his birthday every year with a mattress sale.”  (Robert Klein, American comedian)

            “I don’t know a lot about politics, but I know a good party man when I see one.”  (Mae West, American actress).