MEASURING SUCCESS WITH A FATHER'S WISDOM!

Recently a close friend of mine challenged me to look at my life realistically and accept that I wasn't "cutting it" from a monetary standpoint.  It was painful to hear, but it made me take stock of my life and look at how I value success.  It also made me think of my father's humble beginnings and what he'd achieved in his life, monetarily and otherwise.  I've often wondered how he would view my life today. Would he think that I'd been wasting my time or underachieving? He was never one to lecture me; he just led by quiet example and displayed  a tender, sensitive heart.  It's now been 40 years since his life

ended at the age of 60.  In three days he would have reached the age of 101.  I still miss him terribly and could think of 101 reasons why he was the only man I ever met who wasn't

afraid to show his heart or shed his tears.  No one cared more deeply about the every day worker than my dad.  And no one worked harder than he did, from his simple farm beginnings to long hours in a conservation tower checking for fires, to his years of saving with my mother to acquire two small businesses in a town of 1,013.  He was a success in every sense of the word, and he and my mother had a deep, loving relationship.  They truly worshipped one another, and I know how blessed I was. But would he think that I'd been a success thus far, despite my struggles to achieve financial independence and create a better life for myself?  Financial advisors and portfolios are not a part of my vocabulary.  I live close to the edge financially and I doubt that that's going to change anytime in the near future.  I haven't thrown money away, but I also haven't planted the corporate seeds which might have secured a better future.

So what would my dad have said to me at this point in my life?  He would want me to be happy, of course, however I might define that, and not struggling financially, but more than anything, I believe that he would be thrilled if he knew that in some way I made a difference in people's lives.  He certainly did that, and at the end of my life, that is ALL that matters!

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"Imagination Rules the World!"

"Imagination rules the world," Napoleon said at one time.  Put in modern day thinking, Dr. Seuss said it even better--"Think left and think right and think high.  Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try."

Earlier this week my two grandchildren helped me take
my

imagination to a new level.  We took a rare summer nature hike through a beautiful wooded park and there they discovered a lamb nestled comfortably in some cattails.  I had to think about it a little bit, but darned if they weren't right! The walk turned out to be even more than I expected. I may have put the camera in their hands, but they were teaching me to expand my way of perceiving the world, even in simple ways! I've always had plenty of curiosity, but this time around I learned that I don't have a lock on it.  

"

Let your mind wander a little with these photos and quotes

about imagination.  The world is an amazing place and always full of adventures, if we only look a little. Sometimes children, as well as animals, are our best teachers.

     "You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus."  (Mark Twain)
     "The man who has no imagination has no wings."  (Muhammad Ali)
     Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were, but without it we go nowhere."  (Carl Sagan)

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"LIFE IS ALWAYS WINGING IT."

"No matter how many plans you make or how much in control you are, life is always "winging it." Those thoughts were expressed by Carroll Bryant, but sum up my beliefs as well.  Or put another way by Tina Fey, "Say yes and you'll figure it out afterwards."

Spontaneity is indeed a fancy word, and even hard to spell, but it's pretty simple in meaning and one of my favorite words in the English language. You can call me up with a movie invitation, lunch offer, or a suggestion for a long walk and a bench seat next to the lake, and I'll drop everything to be there--even if you call me ten minutes beforehand.  I'm "all in." An old friend often accused me of always wanting to stop and "smell the roses."  My only explanation for that is that I love to experience LIFE to its fullest, even if I get hopelessly lost in the process. For me, there's no other way to go about it.  As Jane Austen once said, "Why not seize the pleasure at once?  How often is happiness destroyed by preparation, foolish preparation?" 

Recently I engaged in different conversations about spontaneity with several friends. I'm always interested in learning different viewpoints, but at the end of it all, I've come to understand that being spontaneous is an important prerequisite to any serious relationship I might have.  I can't change what is part of my very core.  A fellow by the name of John McLaughlin once said, "Only in spontaneity can we be who we truly are."  It's the joyful spirit of who I am.  I simply can't be anyone else.  Germaine Greer said it another way, "The essence of pleasure is spontaneity."  I derive pleasure often from unplanned, seemingly childlike moments.  Kenny Rogers insists that "there is a trade off--that as you grow older, you gain wisdom, but you lose spontaneity."  I don't buy it; I may be a little "short" on the wisdom order, but I refuse to lose those spontaneous moments.  That would prove to be enormously disappointing. And as a well-spoken woman named Sonya Williams summed it up, "I laugh at people who think they're spontaneous, yet PLAN their spontaneous moments."  I'm not much of a planner, at least not when there's a chance to "smell the roses." Perhaps we'll meet up one day.

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THE WAY I SEE IT. . . .

Lately I've been reflecting on a lot of things and thinking of my mother and her constant refrain in later life--"Time marches on."  Having been around children nearly all summer, I've appreciated any snippet of quiet time I can find, particularly in the early morning hours.  They are truly golden! Here are a few thoughts I'd like to share from those times:

     The Way I See It. . . ."Compromise" is the most crucial word in anyone's vocabulary, especially as it relates to relationships.  I'm still learning.

     Logic is highly overrated, even when it makes sense.

     Getting lost leads to interesting diversions and life changing events, if viewed from a rear view mirror.

     Not owning a car gives you a different Foot perspective.

     A few quiet moments to yourself in the morning can offer a whole day of reflection.

     Thoreau, one of my favorite American writers, was right when he said, "Simplify, simplify."  I'm reminded of that in all aspects of my life.

     Just because you like the color purple doesn't mean that as a football fan it's your favorite jersey:  green and gold will always be a better match for me.

     Anne Morrow Lindbergh was right when she said, "Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after."  

     If I've learned one thing late in life, it's Cherish the moments and the memories.  Life is fleeting and it's not guaranteed.

     Finally, at least for today, a quote by Kathleen Norris speaks for me:  "Life is easier than you'd think; all that is necessary is to accept the impossible, do without the indispensable, and bear the intolerable."  And add to that, a few smiles along the way!

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DALLAS and MARTHA!

Dallas, the little wiry black and white terrier, noticeably graying around the mouth, was more than a match for her younger pal 

Martha, a spirited and playful yellow lab who shared her home space.  The famous nineteenth century American writer Thoreau might have said that they marched to their own drummer, but Dallas often led the way, no matter what direction it took.

I remember my friend and I taking Dallas and Martha to a special 

childhood park of mine, which included a wonderful trail that meandered through the woods and along the Black River. It's always been a picturesque and memorable place, but perhaps even more so now that 50 years have passed since I swam and wandered through the peaceful setting.  It will always be a special place to me, and nothing could have made me happier than to watch little scout Dallas and her willing follower Martha traverse new territory.  Dallas would race on ahead, check everything out to make sure it was safe, and then come back to urge us to proceed.  Sometimes my friend and I would then convince Dallas and Martha to follow us out onto the large, inviting rocks and just sit and watch the simple, wonderful Black River flow on by.  I couldn't have been happier in those moments, sitting with my pals, and occasionally seeing a deer across the way. I often wanted to freeze those special moments in time.

And then there was my family cabin, about 30 miles away.  Both Dallas and Martha might have been sleeping on the way to the cabin (nearly 150 miles away from Minneapolis), but the minute we got near the cabin roads, they were both in prime excitement mode.  Dallas could hardly contain herself, yipping and panting down the home stretch.  It made me laugh with nearly as much excitement as Dallas as I opened the door to a little bit of wonderful country air.  They loved sitting by the fire inside the cabin at night or next to us by the bonfire near the lake. They were on vacation too!  And what good pals they were--always ready for the next adventure.

Dallas and Martha went on many trips with me and my friend.  I know there were times when they weren't sure if they would be included, but invariably they were.  Although they've both passed on to other worlds, I will always remember them with great fondness.  I think that sometimes Dallas thought that Martha was a bit too much, especially when her big tail whacked Dallas in the face. Sometimes too Martha got so carried away throwing her stuffed animals into the air and chasing after them that Dallas nearly gave up, as she showed her a questioning look which seemed to say, "Why don't you settle down?" Martha was of course completely oblivious.

I sometimes feel a deep sadness for my special companions of the past, but then I remind myself of how rich memories are.  As a former teacher friend of mine once said, "You'll always be rich in memories, and that's what really counts."  Dallas and Martha are a very big and important part of my memory bank!

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MAINTAINING SANITY ON THE HIGHWAY, and FINDING A LITTLE HUMOR ALONG THE WAY!

Since I do a lot of driving during the course of a day, I always appreciate unexpected good humor relating to it.  Some days that's incredibly hard to find.  It's more likely that a few choice words enter my mind and inevitably seep out, even if young, tender ears are nearby.  The rational, sane, normally patient person I call myself suddenly takes on a different personality.  My granddaughter recognizes it and chooses her words carefully--"Grandma, I'm shocked."  Although she's far from shocked at that moment, she's good at "playing along", which reminds me to keep it all in perspective.

So, at least for today, in honor of slowing down and enjoying a few laughs, I will find that balance on the highways, despite would-be race cars passing me by, often 20-30 miles over the posted speed. The cartoon CRANKSHAFT shifted my perspective, at least for one day.  The image?  An older driver with a surprised look as he reads the posted sign on the road--"DRIVERS DRIVING AT THE POSTED SPEED USE SLOW LANE."  That may be my next approach.

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