ELLA, AN AMISH FRIEND and the AMISH OF CENTRAL WISCONSIN

My mother introduced me to her Amish friend Ella over twenty-five years ago.  She used to buy fresh fruits and vegetables from Ella’s huge garden which was a few miles from our cabin. She was always happy to see us and enjoyed talking with my mother.  For years my mother and I had driven the small country roads and seen many Amish farms.  The Old Order Amish of central Wisconsin liked the area because it was sparsely populated with small towns, the “English” (non-Amish) were generally friendly, and the land and farms were cheap.  Much of the area hadn’t changed over the years and the Amish appreciated that.

It didn’t take long before Ella became my friend as well. She was a charming woman—kind and caring and very hard-working and family-oriented.  Her world seemed incredibly hard to me, like drudgery, but I soon realized that there was much I could learn from her.  I hadn’t expected that.  Like many “English,” I wondered how the Amish could “choose” such a life.  Initially it just seemed devoid of fun and filled with hardship.  Living without electricity, indoor plumbing, washing machines, and telephones just didn’t seem right or possible.  Spending long hours working in the fields and garden and wearing long dresses with bonnets while standing over a hot stove seemed incomprehensible. I didn’t come from that world and I wondered if Ella sometimes resented it.  In retrospect, I was only looking at Ella and her Amish community from one perspective—my own.  Perhaps that was selfish and insensitive; I soon came to reserve judgment and embrace some Amish values.

AN AMISH LADY IN THE FIELD   (Heinz Richter)

From Ella I learned to appreciate every day and express gratitude for the simple blessings that come our way.  There’s an Amish proverb that says, “Kind words and kind deeds keep life’s garden free of weeds.”  Ella’s gentle, generous spirit reflected that. She often sent us home with extra goodies, and no matter how busy she was when we arrived, she always took a special interest in our family and made time to chat. There was even an unexpected tour of her home one summer.

Although I’m not a deeply religious person like the Amish, I have immense respect for their belief in God, which has kept them going for centuries.  They believe that their Amish faith inspires them to do what they can to help others.  That goes for their community as well.  Any tragedy or grief is shared by the small community.  Barn raisings after a fire are common.  I’ve seen many of them on my travels through Wisconsin. Adversity is not questioned since it’s part of God’s will.  The Amish believe that for every difficulty, God is always there to provide strength.

I often loved going for a drive on the simple country roads near the cabin on Sunday morning. Every other week or so Amish families could be seen in their buggies on their way to church, which was always held in homes.  I remember visiting Ella a few days before it was her family's turn. Much of the week was spent in preparation, cleaning the house, baking for hours, and providing enough benches and space for everyone.  I never sensed that Ella felt additional stress over this day; it was what was expected and it was a special day to spend with members of the community and their families.  After the three-hour service, there was plenty of time to relax and chat and watch the children play. Sometimes on Sunday I drove to the dam near the cabin and saw buggies parked nearby.  Young Amish men were enjoying their one day of relaxing by going fishing.  To me it was like walking back in time, seeing the old work horses hooked up to the buggies.  But it also made me realize that Amish children enjoy many of the things their “English” neighbors do. 

The Amish have a simple lifestyle which has changed little over the centuries and that includes their incredibly strong work ethic.  An Amish proverb expresses it well:  “Pride in your work puts joy in your day.”  To them work is honorable and hurrying isn’t part of the horse and buggy world. Simply put, they don’t believe in keeping up with the Joneses. And they choose not to accept public welfare or social security, although they do pay taxes. 

The Amish are not interested in materialistic things; they believe that it causes one to become prideful.  They do believe in humility, and stress that God is the one who should receive praise.  Their focus is on pleasing God and living faithfully.  The Amish are often spoken of as a “people in the world, but not of it.”

THE AMISH DOLL THAT I RECEIVED FROM ELLA, ALONG WITH THE QUILT

Over twenty years ago at Christmas time I remember driving the back roads of central Wisconsin by myself and questioning the frantic gift buying I had witnessed in several department stores in the Twin Cities.  I just needed to get away and find some peaceful surroundings.  I drove out to the cabin on snowy roads and felt an incredible sense of calm.  I went a few miles further and stopped to see my friend Ella.  She was sitting at her work table canning meat by a kerosene lamp.  The contrast was startling to me.  I felt humbled and thankful to have a friend like Ella.  I gained a new appreciation of her world and started questioning my own more than ever. Although I could never be Amish and I know that their world is full of challenges and imperfection, I respect and honor their simple lifestyle and their quest for peaceful living and joy in their relationship with God.  I’ve especially come to value an Amish proverb that says a lot about these special people who endured persecution through the years—“It is better to give others a piece of your heart than a piece of your mind.”