THROUGH THE MAIL. . .

"Lynda, can you see the red in my face?" Those were the opening words in a letter from my longtime friend and pen pal Ellen. She went on to say, "I found your letter of April 2 that I thought I had answered. See, the mind does go first!"  Although I didn't write nearly as often as I would have liked, I truly looked forward to her letters, and she responded much more quickly than I did.  To this day, I have real regrets about that.

I was thinking about Ellen recently because it was near the time of her sudden death three years ago. I was on my way to a library with my grandchildren for a fun summer event, and picked up the mail as we were about to leave.  I saw that it came from Connecticut, but noticed that the handwriting was different from hers, which confused me.  When I opened it, I was heartbroken, and so was the person who wrote to me.  It was her husband of over four decades, telling me that she'd had a massive stroke and died a few weeks earlier.  I just stared at the letter and cried for several long minutes. She had always seemed very healthy and full of life, and then suddenly everything changed.  I couldn't believe that I would never hear from her again.  How quickly life sometimes changes, and how cruel and difficult it is to adapt.  I had a hard time focusing on my grandchildren's activity, but somehow I needed to.  I told them about the loss of my friend and they understood as well as they could. 

Now I want to share some thoughts about Ellen and what made her unique and memorable.  I saved all her letters over the last twenty plus years and re-read them once again.  How I wish I could go back and respond quicker and more fully to her letters, but I can't, so this is my tribute to her. 

Several years after we first started writing, my oldest son attended college in New Hampshire.  During that time my

former husband and I drove through Connecticut on our way to visit our son.  Twice we stopped at Ellen's home in Milford, Connecticut, which was right near Long Island Sound.  She loved showing us around, and when we were back home, she wrote to me:  "I'm so glad that we met, even if it was for just a little while.  I just felt as if I'd known you for years.  And we have--through the mail.  So pen pals really are valuable friendships.  I'm looking forward to hearing from you again.  Take care." Those kind words mean even more to me now.

Ellen was a quiet, reserved person with a wonderful sense of humor.  She was also incredibly kind, and always seemed to find the right words as I was going through my divorce.  She was always full of questions and curious about how I was getting through life, and I appreciated that. She was very curious about life in general.  And boy, did we 
share common interests!  She lived near New Haven, Ct., where my ancestors had first arrived in 1636.  She was very interested in genealogy, as was I, and offered to go to New Haven to gather more information about my family.  She loved history, and we often talked about famous people and places that fascinated us.  We also loved sending postcards back and forth, and I still have many beautiful ones of Connecticut.  I once sent her a postcard from 1926, and she was thrilled!

Ellen was an avid reader, and did something quite amazing to share her love of books.  She started the first and only volunteer library in Connecticut.  It still uses the old card catalogue system.  I can remember how she loved talking about the children's books and activities that the library had added. Although she had no children of her own, she enjoyed sharing her love of reading with the children at the library.  One day I'm going to go there, take some photos, and pay tribute to Ellen in my own way.  That small, wonderful library has now been named after her.  I cried when I read that, because somehow I knew that Ellen was smiling somewhere.

Ellen also had a passion for history, and was proud of being a member of the local historical society.  She often wrote about it and spent many hours helping organize different events.  She once told me about an incredible experience that she'd had at a historic home nearby, which had been empty since the 18th century.  It was owned by the local historical society.

Although she had no prior beliefs in ghosts or spirits, Ellen, following a day of cleaning on the second floor of that historic house, told me that one day she heard her name called, and there was no one around.  She also wrote that several times something brushed her hand when she started to close doors.  She said, "I looked all over for who it might be, but there was nobody in the house."  Other members of the historical society spoke of unusual experiences at that house as well. Ellen mentioned the experience several times in subsequent letters and was quite curious and perplexed.

I loved telling Ellen things about Minnesota since she had never been here.  And of course she shared many things about the state she loved--Connecticut.  In one letter she wrote, "Gee, is everyone in Minnesota "happy go lucky?  Send some of those people to Connecticut."  Perhaps I'd spoken a little too much about "Minnesota Nice," which isn't always true anymore.

In looking back over the letters Ellen wrote, she talked about someday wanting to give me a private tour of the houses in the area from the 17th and 18th century.  How I would have loved that, especially knowing that my ancestors, (the Tuttles), had lived in that area nearly four centuries ago.

Milford, the city where Ellen resided in Connecticut, is known as "The Small City with the Big Heart." That must be why Ellen lived there.  She had a huge heart and a curious mind, and I will always think of her, whether I'm passing through Connecticut or entering a library that she would have loved.  What a gift she was to many, and how fortunate I am to have known her!