DON'T DODGE DIFFICULTIES, DIG!

The theme of my Aunt Ellen’s 1920 high school graduating class, DON’T DODGE DIFFICULTIES, DIG was the story of her life.  She lived it to the fullest.  She passed away over 25 years ago, but there’s rarely a day that I don’t think of her.  At her memorial service the minister compared her to the prophetess Anna from the Bible.  Ellen would have scoffed at the comparison; it gave her too much credit, she would have said.  But Ellen truly was Anna.  Her faith in God was abiding.  She once wrote, “Eventually you learn to take all to God.  He is truly a marvelous companion and confidant.  He is always wherever you are.  He listens and makes the sun shine through your storm of tears, or overcome some “let-downs” you have had.  Believe it or not, even after years of being alone, such times do come.”

Her story A FAMILY OF ONE is poignant.  I’m glad that Ellen shared her reflections about living alone.  It helped me see more clearly into who she was and reflect upon my own life.

Her love of nature delighted me because I’ve shared the same passion.  She frequently sent pictures of flowers and birds to our children.  To our oldest son Kai she sent a picture of a woodchuck and wrote, “See how God helps the woodchuck hide from his enemies.  That’s nature’s camouflage.”

I thought of Ellen and her many kindnesses and acts of love when I read a quote from Mr. Rogers, the children’s television host—“Imagine what our real neighborhoods would be like if each of us offered, as a matter of course, just one kind word to another person.  Sometimes all it takes is one kind word to nourish another person.”  Ellen always made time for kind words and deeds, whether it was teaching elementary school children for nearly 50 years, sending cards and notes to nieces and nephews and friends, doing volunteer work with elderly patients in a nursing home, or meeting strangers on the street.  Her life was about kindness and love.

Ellen Olson was born in 1902, the oldest of 10 children.  She attended elementary school in my hometown, Abbotsford, Wisconsin and high school in Neillsville, Wisconsin. I learned much about her early life from cherished books and scrapbooks she kept for decades.  Her book School-Day Memories has a picture of Ellen in 1918, at age 16.  Ellen included pictures and autographs of her early schoolmates and told about her teachers and their influence on her.  I often wonder how her first grade teacher in 1908, Valeria Robinson, might have differed from my first grade teacher in 1954.  I know that Ellen’s favorite studies in elementary school were reading, singing, and geography.  She would have delighted in my young grandchildren’s knowledge of geography.  Reading was for her, as for me, a lifelong passion.  The poet Longfellow once wrote, “Study yourself and most of all note well, wherein kind nature meant you to excel.”  Ellen excelled at so many things.  She was a marvelous teacher and cherished even the smallest remembrances of times with children.  A child’s note to her, dated February 5, 1926 said:

          “Dear Miss Olson:

          How are you?  I’m fine.  Say hello to all the boys and girls for me.  I passed into 3A.  I went to the museum in Milwaukee.  The teacher said I behaved like a good boy.  I worked hard to pass.  Love to you and all the children.”  Gilbert

Gilbert’s mother then wrote:

          “Gilbert’s teachers here said you gave him a wonderful send-off.  He passed to 3A without taking exams.  His teacher has already had him up as an example to the rest of the children.  She said he behaves fine.  I’m so glad he does and I thank you Miss Olson for what you have done for him.”  Mrs. Dickinson

I know that Ellen inspired me to get into teaching and to make learning fun and meaningful to children.  Perhaps because she lost her only child Arthur at birth, all children were precious to her.  As I work and learn with my own young grandchildren, I often feel her presence.  They’ve delighted in seeing the little mementos school children gave her over 80 years ago.  I share stories about her and relay her wonderful sense of humor.

Ellen often paid tribute to an exceptional teacher she had in high school.  She wrote:  “Feeding the birds, watching them and listening to their songs and calls early in the morning are a real joy too.  Many of such pleasures are of long standing, developed by a high school teacher.  How hard she worked us, giving us books to read, reams of poetry to memorize which frequently kept me busy until the wee hours of the morning.  For that I have no regrets, for many of my pleasures in this life alone are ones that she instilled—love of fine music, reading of good books, joy in recalling poems learned or locating new ones, walking under the stars at night and locating the constellations and feeling the nearness of an all-powerful and loving God.  Trips also recall places she told of and planted the seed of wandering in other spots away from home.”

Ellen never forgot Miss Hammond.  She wrote, “Since her death, I frequently rejoice that I did not neglect to write at times and express my appreciation.”

I wanted to learn more about Ellen Hammond, the woman who made such a profound impression upon my aunt. I discovered that she traveled all over the world—quite remarkable in the 1920’s.  She shared stories of some of her adventures in other lands and the people she’d met.  For Ellen, whose own parents were too busy and too poor to travel far, this must have been eye-opening.

Ellen also excelled at letter writing.  She once expressed that “letter writing too can be the next best thing to a good visit with a friend, relative, or family.  I correspond with many and receive dear letters in return, like “bread upon the waters.”  At 60, I share that sentiment.  A letter from a pen pal in Australia or a cousin in Wisconsin is a highlight of any day.

I remember visiting Aunt Ellen with my mother as a child.  I loved wandering around her massive bedroom; it was fascinating. In the corner by the door there was a vanity with intriguing little mementos that I knew were old.  There were wonderful photos of Maynard, an uncle I’d never known and the love of her life.  I wondered where she had met him and what he was like.  I wondered how she felt when she looked at the photos and remembered their short life together.  I knew that he had died many years earlier.  Not long ago my cousin invited me to her home in St. Paul and handed me a book that felt like pure gold—The Bride’s Own Book—copyright 1923.  In it were Ellen’s thoughts and joys of her time with Maynard in the late 1920’s.  I felt like I was walking back in time.  There was a list of gifts from various bridal showers.  One entry included a $1 gift from Reverend Rawson, the minister at her wedding.  The following page in The Bride’s Own Book had their wedding invitation.  Finally I noticed a list of 36 gifts from their wedding.  One of them was four quarts of maple syrup from Aunt Sarah and Uncle Fred.  No one at that time would have questioned the value of it.

I loved looking at the page of wedding gifts.  It was like a treasured autograph book, something I’d enjoyed keeping as a child.  There was my mother’s signature as a 14-year old, as well as my grandparents and aunts and uncles.  Then I discovered two simple congratulatory note cards.  It obviously made no difference to Ellen that they were homemade.  I wondered how that would be viewed at most weddings today. 

Ellen had obviously sent out photos of the wedding because her dear friend Louise wrote:  “It couldn’t possibly be better of Maynard, could it?  And you sit so prim, precise and dainty, just as you always are.  I’ve thought so much about what a vision of loveliness you were that day; I wouldn’t have missed being there for a good deal.”

I chuckled when I read that Reverend Rawson, the minister, had left his own honeymoon in Madison, Wisconsin (a long drive, even now) to officiate at Ellen and Maynard’s wedding in Neillsville.  But my joy turned to sadness when I turned the page of The Bride’s Own Book and saw no entry in Our First Anniversary.  Maynard had died abruptly right around that time.  I couldn’t imagine Ellen’s heartbreak.  Within a 16-month period she had lost a child, little Arthur, who was stillborn and her beloved husband Maynard.  This little book of Ellen’s made her earlier life seem far more real to me.  Now the story of A Family of One made even more sense.  I read her words once again:

          “When a person has been born of understanding Christian parents and has also been a member of a large, closely-knit family, becoming a “loner” can be a frustrating experience.  It has been a natural way of life to talk things over together before making a decision.  Not so when alone, too often through trial and error you learn others are not interested in your problems and heartaches.  Eventually you learn to take all to God.  He is truly a marvelous companion and confidant.  He is always where you are.  He listens and makes the sun shine through your storm of tears or overcomes some “let-downs” you have had.”

Ellen, in her address as class salutatorian over 90 years ago said:  “Each, if he hasn’t had, will have a difficulty to solve, and it will be a problem for himself alone.  The way you solve that difficulty will determine your caliber and what you are going to amount to in your work.”  She spoke eloquently of not dodging difficulties, but digging a little deeper.  Ellen never dodged difficulties; she met them head on.  She dug deep within herself and grew stronger, her faith intact.  As she once wrote, “With God as captain of your soul all things are possible.”

 Ellen, far left, and her friends

Every day I give thanks for having had Ellen in my life.  As her friend Marvel once wrote, “When twilight draws the Curtain and pins it with a star, I’ll always remember you dear Ellen Tho you may wander far.”